Forgive me, guys, but when it comes to women's fashion — and I do mean women's, not girls' — I'm just about Disney'd out. Every time we turn our backs for a second, some clothing designer or makeup artist is using his or her God-given talent to come up with new ways of making us look like characters that appeal to toddlers (Literally. My 3-year-old is obsessed with Rapunzel).
Lauren Conrad, former queen of Laguna Beach-turned-fashion designer, has always been partial to feminine designs. But her latest collection for Kohl's takes dressing like a princess to new extremes — because it's actually called Disney's Cinderella, a Collection by LC Lauren Conrad.
The most notable thing about her spring collection of dresses, light sweaters and shoes is that there isn't a lot of variation in terms of color: expect to look soft in hues called fawn, marshmallow, ballad blue and heavenly pink.
Conrad didn't hold back when it came to tulle, specifically, layered tulle. Chiffon, which is gorgeous, but probably the second least practical fabric a woman can wear after tulle, also factors heavily in her collection. There's even a cami tank with a bow appliqué. This is exactly how my daughter would choose to dress each day of her life before promptly shredding her clothes into pieces the minute she stepped out of the house to roll around in the grass.
Honestly, Conrad's collection is pretty. With the exception of three tops — a sweater that features a glass slipper, a chiffon T-shirt with Cinderella's image on it and a tank top that reads "Once Upon a Time" — the princess influence is subtle.
So, why use Cinderella to promote it?
The answer is obvious: A lot of grown women still get a kick out of dressing like Disney princesses. Cinderella (and Belle and Ariel) sell. Everyone from wedding gown designers to MAC are getting in on the craze. The message is clear: F*** middle age. F*** Sophia Loren. And, if you want to keep the focus on Disney, f*** Maleficent. I am a princess, hear me be as totally silent as a tree.
I believe women have the right to dress however they want. But I'd be lying if I said I understood our obsession with youth culture or why some women want to wear Mickey Mouse jumpers. Say what you will about Kim Kardashian, but when she's wearing clothes, the woman dresses like a woman. Designer Carolina Herrera is a master at creating strong, but incredibly feminine styles that make women look their age — which is a good thing, despite what we've been brainwashed to believe. It can be done and it can be done well.
When little girls, even the ones who wish they could hang out in Elsa's dress all day long, parade around in mommy's heels and grown-up dresses, it makes total sense. Grown women in Cinderella shirts? Not so much.
More about Disney fashion
MAC's new collection might turn you into a real Disney princess
Disney's 2014 wedding dress collection: Which princess would you be?
If Disney princesses had jobs today, this is what they'd be doing