And if the Mayans are right? How to dress for the end of civilization

Sweats

If the world ends Dec. 21, don’t you want to be comfortable? Why bother doing your hair, makeup or showering for that matter? If there is one positive thing about civilization coming to an end, it’s that we should live the final moments the way we want — in our sweats, with greasy hair, eating frosted pretzels and sea salt and vinegar chips.

Your most expensive shoes

Remember how you tried to justify buying those $700 high heels by saying, “I’m going to be buried in those things!” Well, Dec. 21 gives you an opportunity to wear your favorite shoes that you paid way too much money for. If the winter solstice does mark the end of the world as we know it, at least we can go out in style. All of a sudden it really doesn’t matter how much you paid for those shoes, does it? In fact, if you don’t have a pair of “The World is Coming to an End” shoes, you now have the perfect excuse to go get a pair. Put them on your credit card, the payment for which won’t be due until after the 21st! See, the world coming to an end isn’t all bad.

All your jewelry

It’s important to remember that civilizations down the road may unearth our remains at some point. So how do you want to be viewed by that culture? If you wear every piece of bling you possess and you have a couple of tattoos, you will likely be thought of as a high priestess. It may not hurt to deck yourself out in a cocktail dress if “royalty” is the image you want to project. You should be warned that if you take our aforementioned “sweats” advice, future civilizations may view you as a peasant, or commoner. If you wear jeans and a T-shirt, you will likely go down in history as a laborer. If you wear something nice, but not heavily accessorized, you will be seen as a caregiver, which civilizations everywhere revere. So it’s really up to you. How do you want to be viewed by folks who may or may not stumble upon you five hundred years from now?

Party wear

Let’s get serious. The world is not coming to an end Dec. 21, which is reason to party! Strap on your favorite party dress and party shoes, invite everyone over and celebrate this most festive occasion. And if by some fluke the Mayans were able to predict, thousands of years ago, that life as we know it would end precisely on Dec. 21 of 2012, then at least you’ll be surrounded by your favorite people!

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