Madonna
We're not trying to pile on Madonna this week since Elton John already threw some serious insults her way, but we just need to express ourselves about the ensemble she wore in Moscow. The Material Girl chose this bondage-esque getup for the grand opening of her Hard Candy fitness center in Russia.
You'd think after 53 years, Madonna might learn to dress her age, but she clearly hasn't. Her over-the-knee leather boots are way too tight on the thighs. Then there's the super short dress. As you get older, your hemlines shouldn't get shorter and shorter, Madge!
She completed this losing look with a chain link belt. Madonna looks great for her age and has a rocking body, but it's time for her to stop trying so hard all the time to look young. Leave the crazy fashion to Lady Gaga or your daughter Lourdes.
The final verdict? We're going to have to agree with Elton and deem this look more appropriate for a "fairground stripper."
Taylor Armstrong
Taylor of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills showed up to the sixth season premiere of Dexter in Hollywood looking quite scary herself. There's a whole lot going on here, from head to toe.
Taylor's mane is wild and her dress is a mess. Between the busy print, blousy sleeves, wide belt and alternating hemline lengths, it's a bloody disaster! The fabric has a Pucci-esque print but it looks cheap and the sky-high platform heels say "streetwalker" to us.
Just like Madge, this outfit is too young for someone Taylor's age. We'd love to see her in something more simple and classic, like a little black dress. After all, she's a housewife of Beverly Hills -- not Miami or Vegas!
The final verdict? The dress should be banned but the bag can stay... the blue clutch is cute and would work for day or night.
More Friday fashion fun
Friday's Fashion Fails: Jessica Biel and Lady Gaga
Friday's Fashion Fails: Jordin Sparks and Gwen Stefani
Friday's Fashion Fails: Justin Bieber and Leighton Meester